This is one of those “meme” things, I think. You know, someone comes up with a bunch of questions and then other people pick ‘em up and answer them, trying to be funny / entertaining / revealing / deeply personal / all or none of the above along the way. Anyway, never done one before, so I picked a big one and gave it a go.
1. Height
6 feet, 4 inches
2. Have you ever smoked heroin?
No. I’m a bit of a square here – all my drugs are legal.
3. Do you own a gun?
No. And that’s probably a good thing…
4. Who would you let eat crackers in your bed?
Right now? Pretty much any woman that wanted to. Ideally? Gillian Anderson.
5. Do you ever get nervous before doctor appointments?
Nope. Don’t go to the doctor’s, that’s why.
6. What do you think of hot dogs?
They wouldn’t be hot if they hadn’t been shut up in a car all day; leave a window open, damn you!
7. What’s your favourite Christmas song?
The really filthy version of “The 12 Days”. Altogether now; “Five motherf…”
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Another beer. But as most days are work days, coffee.
9. Is your bathroom clean?
Why are you singling out my bathroom? All of my rooms are just as dirty as each other.
10. Can you do push-ups?
Not a hope in hell.
11. What’s your favourite piece of jewellery?
The only piece I wear everyday – my St. Christopher medallion. Patron saint of travellers keeps me safe on my bike.
12. Do you like painkillers?
Only when I’m in pain.
13. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex?
Broken.
14. Do you have ADD?
Sorry, what did you say? I was just looking at that other thing, over there.
15. What’s your name?
Wolfie
16. Middle name?
Begins with R.
17. Name three thoughts at this exact moment.
I’m a man; I can’t think of three things at one time.
18. Name the last three things you bought.
Pizza, petrol, fruit.
19. Who is your favourite visual artist?
Hopper.
20. You’re stuck on a deserted island with two other people; who would you want to be stranded with?
Either: two guys that knew how to build a boat to get us off the island. Or: Gillian Anderson and Rowan Pelling.
21. You’ve won a major award and have thanked your family. Who else would you thank?
What makes you so sure I’d thank my family? I’d thank everyone else for being gracious enough to let me win!
22. Current worry?
Waistline. Money. Usual sort of things.
23. Current hate?
Oh, so many. Which to choose? (This is why it’s good I don’t own a gun).
24. Favourite place to be?
Somewhere else.
25. How did you ring in the New Year?
Quietly at home.
26. Where would you like to go?
Heaven. Failing that, Cornwall.
27. Do you own slippers?
I don’t even rent them.
28. What shirt are you wearing?
A white one. I have several white ones. I like white ones.
29. Do you burn or tan?
Burn, then tan. Eventually.
30. Favourite colours?
Red and blue. Basic, that’s me.
31. Would you be a pirate?
Only if I could be a Jack Sparrow type of pirate.
32. Are you gay?
Well, I’m quite happy.
33. What songs do you sing in the shower?
Out of tune ones.
34. What did you fear was going to get you at night when you were a child?
The creature under the bed. But I always kept my arms and legs under the covers, so I was OK. And that strange yowling creature outside (which later turned out to be a cat – never have liked cats).
35. What’s in your pockets right now?
Nothing. Not even fluff.
36. Where are you?
Not where I want to be.
37. Best bed sheets as a child?
Weird question. I never had any cartoon ones or anything like that; the ones I remember are the candy-stripe ones.
38. Worst injury you’ve ever had?
Kept me in intensive care for nine weeks when I was a baby. Still bear the (considerable) scars today. I figure I’m going to live forever now, ‘cos if I was going to die, it would have been then. Since I can remember? Broke my left little finger; not really in the same league.
39. You’re on a trip around the world and have to select five landmarks to visit; what would you pick?
Mont Blanc tunnel. That really big, new bridge in France. Ayers Rock. The statue of Jesus outside Rio. Empire State Building.
40. How many TVs do you have in your home?
None, I made them all leave. They kept arguing over mascara.
41. Who is your loudest friend?
He’s not really loud, but he makes his presence known. He knows who he is.
42. Who is your quietest friend?
That would be the guy I’ve known the longest. Although, he can be quite loud sometimes.
43. Does someone have a crush on you?
If they have, I don’t know about it. But that’s the way of crushes, isn’t it? It would be nice if someone did, but it’s unlikely.
44. Do you wish on shooting stars?
I wish I’d seen one to wish on.
45. What is your favourite book?
Tough one this, I read so many. My favourite opening to a book is in The Crow Road by Iain Banks. Other than that, I can’t really pick a favourite.
46. What is your favourite candy?
Milk chocolate. And lots of it.
47. What song do / did you want played at your wedding?
Never been in that position. Never likely to be. But something upbeat is definitely called for.
48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
I used to have a long list of the songs I wanted played, but forget now what most of them were. I know I wanted Brothers in Arms by Dire Straits, and maybe Goodbye by Peter Cook and Dudley Moore.
49. What were you doing at 12am this morning?
Sleeping. Finally.
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
That I hadn’t had enough sleep, so I’m having another half an hour.
