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To tell or not to tell? That is the question…
I’ve been blogging for about nine months now; long enough to feel like I know what I’m doing, and to have developed a certain way of writing, and even to have built up a bit of an audience (thank you) but in certain other ways I’m still very much a newbie.
One of the things that I’m still unsure about, and which I’d like your input on if you feel moved to give it, is the issue of censorship. Not so much traditional censorship of bad language, or “adult content” but more internal censorship of what you write. Do you have that barrier that sometimes descends as you start to write, which goes “You know, maybe it would be better if you didn’t write that.”
You may have noticed that, while I have mentioned the company I work for and the products we sell, I don’t write about my experiences at work. The main reason for this is that nothing really happens that is worth writing about, but another reason is that I know that one of my friends from work occasionally reads The Wolf’s Howl; the situation might arise where I write something about the job that he doesn’t agree with, which might cause problems in our working relationship. Unlikely, but it could happen.
Another area that I don’t write about is my personal relationships. I’ve been toying with the idea of writing about a couple of incidents from the past, which every now and again re-surface for a few weeks just to torment me. The thought of writing them down often occurs at these times, to try and exorcise the demons as it were. But, apart from not really being able to find the words, I haven’t written them because that internal barrier comes down.
It’s strange; I think the thing that bothers me about it is that these are things I haven’t told to the people that I’m closest to - yet I’m thinking of writing a blog post that has the potential to be read by millions of complete strangers. I wouldn’t care about them reading the posts, but if someone I knew read them I’d be… embarrassed is probably the best word.
So maybe it’s not censorship. Maybe it’s this conflicted feeling that stops me writing about things; the stupid git at work who can’t even put a damn label on the right way round, the night I was 17 and made a choice that I wouldn’t make now or the night I was 19 and made a choice I really wish I hadn’t made.
But maybe it’s just that I can’t find the right words to really get across what I mean.
Comments
One Response to “To tell or not to tell? That is the question…”
I think you know what to do....
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I recommend you open up a little more. I just started blogging a couple of weeks ago and there is no holds barred. I guess I have nothing to lose, but still, it is liberating for me.