Comments on: That’s not what I meant! http://wolfshowl.com/2007/12/27/thats-not-what-i-meant/ "In these hands, I've held the broken dream, In my soul, I'm howling at the moon" Fri, 05 Dec 2008 10:10:38 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7-RC1-10026 hourly 1 By: timethief http://wolfshowl.com/2007/12/27/thats-not-what-i-meant/comment-page-1/#comment-129 timethief Sun, 30 Dec 2007 21:02:42 +0000 http://wolfshowl.com/2007/12/27/thats-not-what-i-meant/#comment-129 Wolf, Thanks for writing on this important topic and for giving me an opportunity to comment. Just coping with the management of the e communication tsunami is such a daily struggle that I forget the four elements. Communication consists of four elements:broadcasting, reading/listening, contemplation and response. But, like yourself I find it's frequently my "reading/listening" skills that are lacking and, that when they are my replies can give rise to unnecessary misunderstanding, drama and even offense. Speaking plainly, I believe that all electronic communications give rise to a sense of urgency that is rarely justified. When we are face-to-face we do not assign "high priority" to every communication we are involved in. In fact, when discussing weighty matters we give one another time and space to carefully consider what will be expressed, prior to expecting an response. Also, as you point out, in cyberspace we lack the instantaneous facial expression and body language feedback clues that (1) inform us how our messages are being received and that (2) prompt us to recognize when and where further clarification is required. To establish a focus on reading/listening and contemplation prior to responding, I find I must skim read all incoming communications first and assign a priority to each one. Also note that when I receive e communications that give rise to strong emotions within me I choose not to reply to them for at least 24 - 48 hours. I do this in order to preserve the bond of respect and trust between communicators that forms the base for civilized communication. When I do deal with each item I have found an effective way to improve my listening and contemplation skills is to read all electronic communications aloud. As I work alone this is no problem for me but, I do recognize that it may not be workable for everyone else. I concur with your summation. As we move forward in cyberspace, we are experiencing a need to communicate more effectively and clearly. Therefore, I remain open to listening to any tips that your other readers employ to achieve this. Regards, TT [Edit by Wolfie: Akismet seems to be a little over-zealous at the moment; I had to rescue this from the spam bin. So I'm turning it off for now.] Wolf,
Thanks for writing on this important topic and for giving me an opportunity to comment.

Just coping with the management of the e communication tsunami is such a daily struggle that I forget the four elements. Communication consists of four elements:broadcasting, reading/listening, contemplation and response. But, like yourself I find it’s frequently my “reading/listening” skills that are lacking and, that when they are my replies can give rise to unnecessary misunderstanding, drama and even offense.

Speaking plainly, I believe that all electronic communications give rise to a sense of urgency that is rarely justified. When we are face-to-face we do not assign “high priority” to every communication we are involved in. In fact, when discussing weighty matters we give one another time and space to carefully consider what will be expressed, prior to expecting an response.

Also, as you point out, in cyberspace we lack the instantaneous facial expression and body language feedback clues that (1) inform us how our messages are being received and that (2) prompt us to recognize when and where further clarification is required.

To establish a focus on reading/listening and contemplation prior to responding, I find I must skim read all incoming communications first and assign a priority to each one. Also note that when I receive e communications that give rise to strong emotions within me I choose not to reply to them for at least 24 - 48 hours. I do this in order to preserve the bond of respect and trust between communicators that forms the base for civilized communication.

When I do deal with each item I have found an effective way to improve my listening and contemplation skills is to read all electronic communications aloud. As I work alone this is no problem for me but, I do recognize that it may not be workable for everyone else.

I concur with your summation. As we move forward in cyberspace, we are experiencing a need to communicate more effectively and clearly. Therefore, I remain open to listening to any tips that your other readers employ to achieve this.

Regards, TT

[Edit by Wolfie: Akismet seems to be a little over-zealous at the moment; I had to rescue this from the spam bin. So I'm turning it off for now.]

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