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Poetry
Just received this by email. There was no credit attached for the author of this classic, so if you know who wrote it let me know in the comments.
I want a floating duck house
I want to clear my moat
I need to mend my tennis court
That’s why I need your vote.
I have to build a portico
My swimming pool needs mending
My lovely plants need horse manure
And the Aga needs much tending
A chandelier is vital
Mock Tudor boards are great
My hanging baskets won awards
And I’ve earned a tax rebate.
I need a glitter toilet seat.
My piano so needs tuning
Maltesers help me stay awake
And my orchard must need pruning
I could have said the rules were wrong
And often thought I should,
But somehow it was easier
To profit all I could
The public really have to see
That the rules are there to test
And by defrauding taxpayers
We were just doing our best
The Speaker of the House has gone,
Our sacrificial beast,
But the public are still braying
For our corpses at the feast
What do the public want from us,
Those vote-wielding ingrates?
They really should be grateful
To be financing our estates.
The message is so very clear,
(we’re merely learning late)
That the British way of living well
Is to screw the bloody state.
In case you missed it, the Commons authorities have today published details of MPs expenses for the last four years. Apparently, because of the amount of information that’s been redacted it’s tricky to work out who has been gaming the system but it’s still clear that MPs are allowed to claim far too much on their expenses.
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Wolfs Helpers
